In the Garden of Love


In the Garden of Love It Is More Important to Grow Flowers Than to Pull Weeds!

If you only pull the weeds out, all you will have left is a garden full of holes — into which new weeds will likely grow.

If you plant and nurture flowers, add grasses, crops and trees, also nurturing them — they will push out all but the toughest of weeds.

Those you can pull.  JRC

Think about it.

Is your way of dealing with a love relationship more about pulling weeds than growing flowers? Are you more prone to work on what is wrong or work on making things improve? If you are more prone to focusing on problems, deficiencies, faults etc., than focusing on creating and extending attributes, benefits, advancements etc., then your love relationship is not likely to be like a garden that you or anyone else wants to be in.

Are you watering your love relationship’s flowers, or its weeds? Do your praises, compliments and expressions of appreciation greatly outnumber your gripes, complaints, and expressions of disapproval? Sincere ‘thank you’s’, a soft touch of appreciation, a genuine offer to help with a chore, etc. water the flowers. The gripes, etc. tend to water the weeds.

In your garden of love are you doing the necessary work of being a good gardener. Growing and tending a healthy, good, love relationship takes a good deal of work just like growing and tending a healthy, good garden does. Nature only does so much, and then we have to do the rest.

Are you and your love ones spending enough time together in your garden of love, letting it nurture you by your shared mindfulness of its beauty and wonder? Are you soaking up the beauty of your garden of love’s flowers and deeply, fully appreciating them, holding them in awe, letting them inspire and nurture you?

As always – Go and Grow in Love

Dr. J. Richard Cookerly

Love Success Question
What kind of new and wonderful flowers might you plant in your garden of love? Would you do well to plant and grow more flowers of kindness, forgiveness, affirmation, lightheartedness, spiritual connection, appreciation or …..?

Categories: Behavior Tags:

Info Silo – Love Dysfunction, Avoid It!

info-silo350Synopsis: This mini-love-lesson starts about the “info silo” problem”; then discusses symptoms; ongoing dysfunction; sharing dysfunction well; examining your own silo; what you don’t know, and why; and ends with the “no secrets” rule.

The Problem

Many families, couples, friendships and especially ‘start up’ love relationships malfunction because of “info silo” problems.  This tends to be particularly bad in more autocratic… Continue reading

Re-Sparking Your Love

Synopsis: ‘Sparking’ is first explained, then ascending, leveling off and sinking love relationships; and those in need of re-sparking are discussed; and finally 10 not so usual how-to’s for re-sparking a love relationship are given, along with some of their scientific support. Continue reading

Compassionate Love, A Big Sign of True Love?

compassionate-love350Synopsis: A vital question starts this mini-love-lesson; followed by discussions of empathy, compassion, their mix, what science says, low compassionate relationships, the question of too much compassion; and ends with what can help and “the answer”.

A Vital Question?

Can you have real love without it being empathetically compassionate? Some of those who look mostly at romantic love, passion-filled love, young… Continue reading

Loves Ultimate Measure

Are you willing to risk your life for those you love?  Are you willing to give up your life so that a loved one can go on living?  According to some these are the true, ultimate measures of authentic love.  Others think these are only the tests and measures of very strong love but not true of all love.  Strong, healthy… Continue reading


Dr. J. Richard Cookerly